I have long been combating with my own self, struggling to accept the newly found adulthood, embracing my responsibilities and getting over the woes of life, but I am in a particularly pensive mode lately.
I still have it afresh in my mind, as vivid as the fragrance of the shampoo I regularly slather on my scalp and the crinkle of my bed sheet, the days I spent as a child; making friends , losing them at the hands of my own carelessness, befriending new ones, and losing them too.
It has always been so simple, so easy to let go. To forget and to move on.
I have always mourned over unrequited love (crushes, more like) and sniveled over my unsuccessful love life to my diary, but not once have I cried over a lost friend. I, as a kid, never cherished friendship as, I realize now, I should have.
Now that I have grown up to be more than two decades old, it breaks my heart to realize that I have entered this new phase of my life with not as much as only a few friends from my childhood who have effortlessly stayed by my side, with unwavering affection and loyalty.
I sure do meet new people everyday. People who are saccharine-sweet to my face but always have something mean to whisper to others about me once I turn my back. They are people who go by the tag of my ‘friend’ but act nothing like it.
As excruciating as the realization may be, I have discovered a bitter fact through personal experience:
With soaring materialism in this world, that is precisely what the bond of friendship has reduced to: material friendship. When I was still a kid, friendship was all about giving and giving more, selflessly, The thought of gaining or getting back never occurred to you even once . Your friends were people who liked you for being weird and accepted you for the person you were. They laughed off your insults and shared their stuff with you.
Well, here is the awful truth: not anymore.
The world has not spared something as blemish-free as friendship too. It is a world of deception meant to hoodwink you with something that is but a mirage. Friends come with price tags and beauty shots.
If you are a part of some hot-shot crew, play guitar, own a DSLR, have a celebrity parent, look like you just walked out of a fashion magazine or own quite a lot of bills, then you’re in for a buffet of friends! You can choose on one but they are all there for you.
If you cannot compliment someone without a reason, choose not to lie to someone or refuse to do what the others believe ‘in’ these days, then you are basically doomed. The cool kids on the block are going to make your life unbearable by treating you like a social outcast and dramatizing your ‘differences’ as if you’ve just been diagnosed with AIDs.
What I have learnt only recently, is that every time I will do something right, I will lose a friend.
Yes, that is the new, unspoken rule. You tell that friend you’ve been hanging out too much lately and the one who’s in all of your ‘selfies’ that she looks ugly in yellow and wham!
That’s one friend down for you.